17.01.2010

ok so today was an officially good day which is kinda miraculous seeing as last nite was shite!!! L.J refused to contemplate sleep in any way shape or form and just spent the entire time fidgeting, and as usual S was no help - it's almost becoming like he thinks he shouldn't have to do anything in the middle of the night, and so i find myself getting more and more annoyed by it as the days go by.

I don't think it would be so bad if just once he would say "I'll have him on my side" or "you stay there I'll do it" but instead as i mentioned before we get the huff and turn over treatment. Again i find myself feeling like the most awful wife complaining as today he has been wonderful, although that might have something to do with the 2 days off work he has coming up.

i had a day out as well today with C at the boatyard for a carvery lunch and it was very very nice but i must say how C copes with little T is beyond me as he is so hyper, i so hope L.J is not like that at his age.

i managed to get anti colic bottles from tesco today so we shall have to see if they work, i really hope so. he does seem to be winding better now (although i shouldn't speak too loud!) i am beginning to wonder if the ready made milk we used on the family trip was what caused the problem, whatever it is anyway its taken 10 days to get him back to normal!

As if it wasn't enough for him to have wind, the poor little mite now has a very large sucking blister on his top lip, and people keep getting all stressed at me about it, but like i keep telling them it is actually a good thing because it means he is feeding well. He is growing so much and i can't believe he is almost 5 weeks old especially as it feels like he has always been here.

since L.J was born and even before when i was pregnant people kept telling me that we will be really good parents, but how do you know? there are time when i really worry that i will be snappy with him if i am tired and then i worry that he Will pick up on all the fighting that seems to be going on at the moment.

well enough worry for one night xoxo

Diet day!! 15.01.21010

So as of today i am officially back on the diet treadmill! - I feel like i have eaten so much crap since L.J was born. I am rooting out my weight watchers binder though because it seems that over the last 5 years that is the only diet (although i think I'm supposed to call it a lifestyle change not a diet!!) that's worked for me, especially when i was pregnant. i mean to actually lose a pound in weight at the end of my pregnancy compared to the beginning is actually kinda crazy spectacular!!!!!

Now as for the exercise that's a nut i will need to start cracking again too. At least i have a fairly near goal in mind as it's just over 4 months to R's wedding and i want to have dropped AT LEAST at least a stone as 14 stone something would be a dream and i don't think i have been that weight since 2nd year uni

I think the only way of achieving this however is shopping lists that i stick to as well as shopping online, which to be honest with you is a dream come true with a new baby.

Being off for the next 6 months is also a help because i can fit in a exercise hour for my wii fit every day which was just impossible before with work etc, and as for pushing L.J's pram well sometimes that is am amazing workout especially if there is shopping underneath, not to mention the numerous times i carry him up and downstairs!!

I'm not sure i will go and join the weight watchers group i was at though as not only is it £20 a month which is kinda steep, if i can't get there because of L.J then it is a complete waste.

right enough waffle L.J needs putting down

nite nite xoxo

12.01.2010

ok day one on my owsn as a mommy. S has gone back to work. i am a little nervous as i might be a little on edge in a few weeks time after spending each and every day with L.J - although maybe because i am aware of being nervous it is probably a good thing as i will be able to spot any warning signs.

the health visitor should be here soon - i hope she's nice! the fiorst thing i need to ask her is about the rash on L.J's face and back. it could just be heat rash or milk spots but i have a inkling that it may be something more.

right short and sweet today as from the look on L.J's face i suspect he is doing a poo!

10.01.2010

we are home!!! and even though it was nice to be back with the family, it is just as nice to be back in my own house in my own bed, don't you agree? L.J seems a bit more chilled out as well, whihc is probably due to him being in his own enviroment.

me & S had yet another argument on the drive back as he keeps just expecting that i will do everything for L.J and even though i don't mind doing the majority (it's my job right?) when it comes to some stufff i.e lifting the car seat it's just physically impossible after my c section but it's seems he is incapable of understanding this.

now for my mom's nugget of wisdom regarding why not just mine but most people's husbands respond this way to their forst child

1) i am L.J mommy and as such i am more naturally aware of his needs and in my husband's eyes i am better equipt to deal with the afore mentioned needs

2) prior to L.J's arrival S was the focus of my world(not literally but you can see my point!) and now he is a little jealous as he realises he never will be any more

but to be honest all i am asking for is a little bit more understanding, i mean is it too much to ask that when L.J needs feeding in the night and i have to turn on the light that he doesn't turn over with a huff like i did it just to p**s him off? i mean i could be asking him to feed him duriong the night but i don't even thoughb i am tired too.

however he has been quite nice today so i guess i shouldn't moan right?

ok off to try and have a cat nap

xoxo

07.01.2010

ok so i am back home and have been through the trauma of the obligitory family visit. all i can say about it is oooh what a night! got the distinct impression that A.S was green with envy over L.J as she kept interjecting with comments about her grandson on a regular basis. i hate it when you go somewhere and there are people there who are supposed to be happily looking forward to seeing you and they just sit there looking like they swallowed a wasp.. i mean they could at least try right?

and as for L.H well she practically dumped her son in bed and ran back downstairs... probably frightened of missing something!

the only genuine person there was K. But i could have kissed L.J to death as he was sooooo well behaved, i think they were quite disappointed as they were hoping i would have a difficult baby that they could complain about!

oh well at least tomorrow i get to see my real friends and they are the only reason i came to be honest!

As for being at home Dad had a massive go at me and all over bloody SUGAR!!! he actually told me that i could leave if i wanted to!! and all because i told him and JE not to fall out over sugar! however i know he is feeling sorry now as i just spoke to him on the phone and his parting words were "goodnight babe" oh well leavve him to sulk. i just wish JE could see how his attitude pisses some people off at lot of the time!

S & i also had a huge row this morning whihc basically involved me telling him to grow a pair and act like a dad. the final result was me crying for almost an hour!! we always seem to have the same fight when we travel home and i never understand why he can't just be nice and drive, and then to make matters worse he was coming into the hotel room and accidentally hit me in the stomach with the moses basket making him feel about 100% better about himself, NOT.

ok gonna go lie down as am exhausted nite nite

xoxo

02.01.2010

well it's a new year and it has been a crazy couple of days! me and s have finally seemed to have established some sort of routine and he is definatley getting better at looking after L.J, whihc i am rather glad about as i was beginning to worry that every time feeding came around he would try for a little while but then hand him off to me.

As for L.J his bowel movements (sorry disgusting i know!) seems to finally be a bit better, although to be honest it now seems as if we have gone from constipated and hardly ever pooing to pooing a little too much! but i guess since i was almost begging for a poo last week i shouldn't complain!

i am SO excited to be going home on thursday - not so excited for the family visit as you can only imagine what some family members will be like!! but i am really looking forward to seeing N.D

ok off the make baby bottles

xoxo

31.12.2009 (nearly 2010)

ok so for the third year in a row i am spending new year's eve alone, two years ago just as he is tonight S is in bed snoring although granted unlike this year 2 years ago he was drunk as a skunk! and then last year he was such a complete arsehole that i spent midnight on my own, freezing my backside off on the pier! oh well guess i'm not truly on my own as L.J is here with me, even if he is fast asleep too!!!!

the weather is also absolutley poo so am i actually for once glad to be indoors with the fire blazing away!

wonder how many phone calls we get at midnight? as it is usually me who calls probably not many!

right i am off to get a nice warm cuppa (i know exciting ey?)

see you next year, 2009 was legend!!!

xoxo